I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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