i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
