he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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