I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
