Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
