imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
