Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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