My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize