I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
