you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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