doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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