Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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