he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
