Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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