Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
