She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
