my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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