oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's shark week go big or go home
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize