Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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