In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
