Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
