There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
