I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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