so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
