glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
