It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
