so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
