She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can I color on your dick again?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
