dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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