I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
