My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm passing your future prison.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize