I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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