My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
