so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
