The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
