i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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