they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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