I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
