After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
