he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize