Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
