I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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