We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
