My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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