I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
