Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize