It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
