A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
