She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
