So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
