I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
