I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is my gift to your gina
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
