I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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