So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
