Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize