we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
