I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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