Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize