I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
