Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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