I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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