You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
