She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
