Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
