Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
