is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
