I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize